Archive for November, 2013

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from coffee to tradition.


This past week has been a interesting week as far as church goes. I’ve had the opportunity to visit two very different churches. One was what I refer to as the “hipster church.” I’m not sure of the official name, but nevertheless, it’s a hipster church. The second, Catholic. Yesterday, I attended a Mass for the first time.

Hipster Church experience was pretty fantastic in some ways. It was in a downtown building and was a coffee shop 6 days out of the week. They had all sort of fun mugs and fresh yummy coffee. The music was absolutely phenomenal; some of the best live worship I’ve ever heard. The congregation was mixed. It was filled with all the people who would probably never be caught died in a church. I’m pretty sure some of them were even homeless. However, there was no Bible teaching. Literally, one verse was read. The rest was fluff that the Pastor made up on the spot. Don’t get me wrong, he said some really good things, but Christ’s name was never brought up once. It was pretty disappointing because of the opportunity they have there.

Mass…was actually fun. I mean, I felt like I was in a movie. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful in saying that, but it’s true. The building was beautiful and the priest was almost like a fictional character. I’ve never even been close to a Catholic service. I went because I’m taking a Catholicism class and had to write a paper on my Mass experience. Honestly, I have no idea what the sermon was on, I did hear the words “tradition” and “blessing” a lot. Both these churches were lacking in a big way. Even though they were nothing a like, one being completely laid back and the other being so traditional, but they had the same big problem. They were confused on the Gospel. This made me so thankful that I go to a Christian College that is so firm on the Gospel of grace. Truly, so thankful.

Oh, I get to go home in 2 days!!! I’m so excited. I’m leaving Tuesday and going to make all of the yummy food! :)

Also, I wrote a skit for our school’s Christmas production. It feels good to use some sort of theater anything. I miss it so much.

Anyway, no matter how much I love coffee, cool buildings, tradition or lack of, I love the Gospel the most. It’s clear that without it, all teaching is empty. The people were obviously seeking for something to fill the hole, but religious teaching isn’t going to cut it. It made me excited to be in ministry and be involved with feeding people the meat of the Word.

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A little Giving of the Thanks.


Today has been peaceful. It’s overcast, not raining, but dark and warm. There is no other weather that compares in my mind. Personally, it’s near impossible to feel stressed out with such calming surroundings. Just within the past couple of days, school has developed a new feel. I have my to-do list sitting beside me of all the things to get done before Thanksgiving break, but then I’m basically done. I’ll only have a few finals once I return for the remaining eleven days. So crazy. Everything simply feels relaxed. I’m ready to be home though. Breaks always come just at the right time. In a since, God has timed them in such a way that you can have a break, so you don’t. For me, I hit these points when I just can’t do it anymore. I need my mom or sleep or my cat and just about that time, I get to go home.

I finished meeting with my Brother RA just a bit ago. We talked about how things were going within our sections and prayed. I know I’ve said this so many times, but my favorite thing about my Christian College is the unity. My school is a body, the body of Christ. God has given me such a clear, obvious position within it and I take it for granted. I’ve been given a flock to shepherd and love. I don’t deserve to be used by God, but He is gracious and chooses me anyway.

So I guess what I’m trying to say through all of this is I’m just thankful. [[It's a good time of the month for that.]]

*I’m thankful for the weather, which inspires the calm.

*I’m thankful for the body of Christ.

*I’m thankful to be used of God.

*I’m thankful for the peppermint M&Ms I can’t stop eating.

*I’m thankful to be an RA and have such an awesome brother RA.

*I’m super thankful to be going home in a week.

*I’m thankful for the people in my life who are my friends and point me to Christ.

*I’m thankful for God’s hand in everything.

Psalm 30:11-12 (NAS) Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; Thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness; That [my] soul may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to Thee forever.


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Of Papers and Missions.


Hello out there, whoever you are.

My semester is coming to a close and basically my whole school is in the library. With about a month left, everyone has all their major projects to do. At the top of that list is what’s commonly know as  a “Buckley Paper.” Buckley is a teacher at my school and all the upperclassmen have at least one paper from him. They are extremely, let me repeat for emphasis, extremely time consuming. He uses a format that no one has heard of, unless A.) you go to school here or B.) you were born in the 1920s. It’s good though, it’s part of the whole college experience and truly bonds the whole school together.

Apart from that, we had missions conference last week. It was my favorite one we’ve had. I think  because I”m in my senior year and everything is becoming more real. I just wanted to soak up all of the knowledge I possibly could from the missionaries.

Something I learned was commitment and was convicted by my lack of it. I’m passionate about certain things *woooo* but not committed. That is transparent in my Christian walk. Along with that, the question was asked, “At what point is Christ no longer worth it?” Uggghhhh. Unfortunately, there are many areas in my life which speak the words “Christ you aren’t worth it.” I can’t give up comfort. I can’t give up sleep. I can’t give up coffee. I can’t give up my alone time and I don’t want to do anything that makes me. However, those are minor compared to the idea of being away from family and the familiar. So is that is? That’s how deep my love for God goes? Oh, I’ll go to a Christian College and church on Sunday. Everyone will see and know how spiritual I am. But I will not do anything that makes me sad,  lonely or uncomfortable and call it being surrendered. Ha. Yeah, that’s awesome.

With all that said I felt that God was calling me to take a leap of faith or maybe it was the reminder that my WHOLE LIFE is supposed to be a leap of faith…wow. You know, it’s not even a leap, because our lives are supposed to be a daily walks of faith and yet everything feels like a leap because we are so sheltered. Ok, coming back to from my rant. I’m going on a missions trip to Europe. Sounds awesome, right? Well, it is, but it’s not just some fun adventure, it’s a trial. This trip is only for students who are checking out the ministry there to possibly go long term. That is freaky. I have no idea if I’ll go and realize that’s where I should serve. However, that doesn’t matter and isn’t really for me to know right now. What’s for me to know is that I need to trust God.

It’s amazing to me how God works. Sometimes He speaks so clearly to us (or maybe He always does, but we don’t listen.) I was doing my devotions and I was asking God to guide me. I was telling Him how much I wanted to trust Him. You know what passage I read?

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might, He increases strength.” Isaiah 40:28-29

There’s a whole lot more to it. This God, the true, powerful God is so worth it.



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Apathy < God.


Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

I can honestly say that apathy is the biggest thing I battle. Every other sin that I deal with, springs from it. Ever since I was little I could check out. One of my favorite hobbies was staring at the wall. It was my escape. I could be in my own little world and only think about me, if I thought at all. Strangely enough, I also found this to be a sort of blessing and it very well might have been. There were serval things in my childhood that it was important for me not to concern myself with. I’m grateful that God allowed me to be passive in those times. However, growing up this became more and more of an issue. It’s hard to explain, but it seems to me that while my brain can completely be happy or logically “fine,” my body shuts down. I believe this to be depression. I’ll want to not do anything at all, not out of laziness, but out of a physical pull.

Why am I talking about this? Well, because this has been something that I’ve had to learn to deal with and happen to be in one of those apathetic periods. Someone once told me that you can’t help being sad (mentally or physically) it’s not a sin, but it’s what you do. It’s the choice of allowing that sadness to hinder or to continue living. In this area I need all the help I can get. There are some days I beg God to breathe for me, because I feel like I just can’t.

It has been more and more difficult to get out of bed. It’s been more and more difficult to maintain relationships, much less be a good RA. Even enjoying classes have been a chore. But, I will. It’s in these times when I do have to lean on God the most and that’s the best place to be. I know in my mind that everything is good, that I have great friends and an amazing Christian college school. I also know that I have a purpose: to glorify God. That knowledge is enough bases to make the choice of living.

In the battle that’s happening within me God is greater than apathy. I know He is. I do have to say that I’m looking forward to an eternity in Heaven, where there is no room for depression of any kind. :)